Deep Cuts
by Td03
Summary: I used to think my mind is full of humor, but recently I noticed my interest leans more on dark, sad humor with gore horror and desperation of wanting to commit suicide seeping in. Chapter 18 : A Perversion of Speak Now
1. I Can Tell Papa

I can tell

You never walk alone

Your mind, I can read

You, I can tell, had been meaning to tell me something

You, I can tell, are aware of what I can

You, I can tell, have someone waiting for a long time

You never walk alone, for you never walk the road

You walk through my heart

You squashed my doubt as if they are bugs

You, I cannot tell, where you are now

Not by eyes, no. But by heart, yes, I can tell.


	2. Needing a Healer

Needing

It is in dire need.

Oh, No Doctor! No room for morality!

Certainly not in this time of the world!

Everyone is in trouble!

War is coming? Yes!

We need help? We're desperate!

Families torn apart cruelly.

Men killed, women raped, no one is safe.

Wounded survivors never survive long.

Except for chosen ones one out of ten.

Doctors need help, before they can help.

And not until we try to help ourselves.

To heal, we need to know.

To know, we need to study.

To know the human body, we need to see the insides.

There is no room for morality, Doctor, cadavers are needed.

**The inspiration is from SAO being a warzone**


	3. Fire and Ice Shall End

**Fire and Ice, by Robert Frost**

Some say the world will end in fire,  
>Some say in ice.<br>From what I've tasted of desire  
>I hold with those who favor fire.<p>

But if it had to perish twice,  
>I think I know enough of hate<br>To say that for destruction ice  
>Is also great<br>And would suffice.


	4. Gold Golden Gold

**Nothing Gold Can Stay, by Robert Frost**

Nature's first green is gold,  
>Her hardest hue to hold.<br>Her early leaf's a flower;  
>But only so an hour.<br>Then leaf subsides to leaf,  
>So Eden sank to grief,<br>So dawn goes down to day  
>Nothing gold can stay.<p> 


	5. The Holy Sword

**The Holy Sword**

Ask people what is best.

Most powerful to be wield.

Majority, no doubt,

"I choose a sword," is what they will say.

Yet, ask a hero you will.

The typical, reckless and brave,

Kind and passionate in soul,

"Nothing but love," is what he will say.

When you love someone,

Not out of crush, just.

When you truly do,

Care they do too, you do not.

When you're in love,

Flying, shouting, deafning.

Every little moment with them,

Imprinted in every memory.

Yet love can hurt like no other.

Despite what you feel for them,

Whenever no glance, no word from them,

An inch of you will be wasted.

Love is a double edged sword.

As if you had impaled a sharp blade into you.

It will give you undeniable happiness, but also irresistible pain.

Love is the most holy weapon of all.


	6. Why Can't I Wish The Impossible?

**Wishful**

Black ravens danced under the moon.

He saw a figure, clad in black.

Scythe in hand, skeleton as head.

Walking on air, reaching him soon.

He could see in Death's hand, meat in sack.

He never knew nor will he ever know what prompted him to call for his Sleep.

Using his last wish, "Please take me back"


	7. It Sums Up My Whole Life

**It defines me**

That will be my anchor.. my demise..

It will always ring in my mind

Why? Why does it always deafening me?

I wish I know when I already know.

It was the first thing that she thinks

The first thing she'd say

The first thing I will hear

If anyone asks her about me

It defines me

I never helped.. not in her eyes

When I helped, the results are so little

When I don't offer help

Somehow she always make me feel like I ruined her life

I suppose it is true

I did ruin her life.. and I still do

I exist

I exist burdening her

Why doesn't she just give me up?

I feel like I know why

Some stupid notion of guilt

Not abandoning her responsibility

She reminds me of that word everyday

How can it not be my first thought?

I see it in her eyes when she looked at me..

Worthless, and I memorized her lips as she say it.

Oh, she just said it again.


	8. Do you hate love too?

**Do you hate love too?**

I hate that word.

Love.

The word rolled out of my tongue.

Concealing my disgust, I did not do.

It was supposed to be good.

It was supposed to make me happy.

It was supposed to give me a good and happy life.

It was. It did. And it still will.

But it has no loyalty to death.

It flees the second I doubt.

It escapes like a coward once I fear.

It lingers with pain.

Unimaginable mental pain.

Not out of love.

Not out of emptiness.

Not out of its absent.

But out of mental denial.

No want to grasp the fact that love had left me.

That love had abandoned me.

That love only left that lingering unimaginable pain

Of sorrow. Of doubt. Of grief.

And the stink of self pity.

Coupled with the illness of 'what if?'

I hate love.

It makes me the happiest person in the word.

But once my loyalty is gone by doubting my love.

I felt hurt from the pain love left me by.

It abandoned me much quicker than a bunny hop.


	9. I Did Nothing

**All I did was Nothing**

Being mean, I meant not.

Being cruel, I will not.

Yet seeing death on her cot.

I imagine soil on a pot.

I did not bring my arms up.

Nor twitch my delicate slender fingers.

Giving her the cup.

Shedding her curls.

Eden would be mad.

Though why the thought came by again?

I'm not insane as the cat in the hat.

But I do know something is wrong is me.

No tears flow out, No chokes crawl out.

Trying in futile to feel secure.

Nothing at all, was what I did.

Numbed by my child's departure.


	10. Dragging

**Dragging**

They're driving with their own vehicle.

Filling the road, blocking the path.

Their bike has no rear view mirror.

Polluting the air, and they don't even use any helm.

They're blocking the road.

The longer the fight the lower the morals.

Wasting their mortal lives.

Dragging their school's name to dirt with their graves.

Cheating makes them dumber.

They're annoying the good ones.

They're claiming as the good ones.

What hypocrites. Hypocrites they all are.

**Nothing special. This is just an assignment that I don't wanna let waste, so I posted it.**


	11. Addicted

**Addicted**

The wind blew through, sweeping the road.

All is grey, no sign of life.

As if he had never arrived in a crowded place,

Preparing for his race.

A pair of hands cradled his face.

Shivering spines as bliss whispered in his ear.

Soothingly dangerous, bidding a morbid welcome.

"Soon.. all your desires will come true."

**This particular one is inspired from a volume manga.**


	12. You Can Go, Mom, Dad I love you

**You May Go.**

Don't worry, I'll be fine.

What simple words, with complicated formula.

I could always go to a hole.

Shut myself in the Ebola.

Utter it your subject

Grateful they will be.

Satisfied they will be.

Plagued most likely.

Mutter them to your lover.

Fear and disbelief will crawl.

Love escape noticing doubt.

To the fate of being freed from you.

Say them to your folks.

Rage may be one thing.

Sadness will be another clock.

But, love, love will be hard to come by.

**Inspired by the last episode of Eurika Seven AO I just watched for the first time today, in evening, flipping the channels like any bored otaku's do.**


	13. Why Am I Feeling Like This?

**Why am I feeling this?**

Yes, I know...

Whining peevishly thick in my tone

In my mind at the very least

For vocalizing them I dare not

I am stuck in some business

Personal private ones

Hearing her harping up

About what I should do and what I shouldn't

It grates me

I am busy and no consideration

No belief was visible in the air

No faith in me whatsoever

I am delayed by something personal

I know that I will do eat soon

Why can't she believe that

I had the decency to remember?

I am nothing but a dumb bull to her

Something to yell at

Something to pull for

Something to command

Something owned

For the notions of guilt

And the sense of responsibility

The complete contrast of mt aura

Seeping out under her cracks

Visible, the feeling gave me that impression

I am done and I opened the door

To do the task she reminded me everyday

As if my memory is so small

I can't even remember my name

Of course I can't say it

She is my absolute fear

Something I face everyday yet had never witness

Halting my foot seeing her in front

Handing me a juice, telling me to drink

Ah.. why am I angry at her again?


	14. Yes or No Questions

**Yes or No Questions**

Are you ready?

You only have two chances

Clarification be gone

2 times are more than enough

This is personal

Do you know what it means?

No matter what time you start

It will end soon enough

Do you understand?

Correct or incorrect

Rights are hardly the material

All we need is the wrong

Solving problems are hard

To blame and to die along

Did you even prepare?

The lowest would have risks

Empty sash filling in pits

You can escape you know

It's the easy way!

No need to stress yourself

Just take your chance

And leave the place

Anything valuable

Would be forsaken though

So I ask you again

Are you ready?

Yes or No Questions this is it.


	15. Dry

**Dry**

If I rub this hand

Hard texture is what I will feel

Rough, crispy

It's not even a good sight

Going out The Wind quiet down

Instead of The Cloud, the Sun greet me

Stretching poisonous hands

Threatening me of blind

As if it was a worst fate than this thirst I suffer now

Brother of the West had water, he say

Where, Oh, where is the water for Sister East?

Weather being a big meanie

The Sun turns a blind eye

Am I pretty?

Am I selfish?

Who cares?

That flower is dead

Oh, there's more, they say

I do not see the proof of it

When will the rain come down

That all we kept asking

Thirst, hunger for thirst

Just think of the water

Rain, rain, go away

Come again another day

Were we really that mad?

Playing with the water all day long

Is this worth as a punishment?

What did we do wrong, oh, Dear Lord?

**ATTENTION! TO ALL OF MY FAITHFUL READERS AND ONLINE FRIENDS, MY QUOTA RAN OUT AND I CAN'T ACCESS MY ACCOUNT EVEN THROUGH WIFI, SEEING AS THE SYSTEM FORBID FFN FOR PRIVACY PROTECTION PROTOCOL BULLSHIT. FAVE 'DEEP CUTS' AND IF I UPDATE A CHAPTER, IT MEANS I CAN ACTUALLY ACCESS MY ACCOUNT HERE AND I'M CURRENTLY ANSWERING YOUR PMS AND REVIEWS. THANK YOU!**


	16. You Shallow Does Swallow

**You Shallow Does Swallow**

Find me my match

Not quite at all

Found my soul mate, you do not

Steal my beloved, you cherish most

Past life granted me luxury

Current life grants me brilliance

I am back again

This time blessed with sheer talent

Not of sports, Heavens no

Sweat and tire suit me not

Say, what is the spell

to lure a small mockingjay?

To kill it is a sin

As high as The Seven

I did not learn it from Bible

I did not found my soul mate face to face

I did not discover my talents in reality

I live

As Td03

* * *

><p><strong>ATTENTION! TO ALL OF MY FAITHFUL READERS AND ONLINE FRIENDS, MY QUOTA RAN OUT AND I CAN'T ACCESS MY ACCOUNT EVEN THROUGH WIFI, SEEING AS THE SYSTEM FORBID FFN FOR PRIVACY PROTECTION PROTOCOL BULLSHIT. FAVE 'DEEP CUTS' AND IF I UPDATE A CHAPTER, IT MEANS I CAN ACTUALLY ACCESS MY ACCOUNT HERE AND I'M CURRENTLY ANSWERING YOUR PMS AND REVIEWS.<strong>

**HOWEVER, I AM NOT QUITTING ANY OF MY STORIES! IN FACT, I AM WRITING THEM IN MICROSOFT OFFICE WORD! SO PLEASE KEEP AN EYE ON THEM! THANK YOU!**

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:**

**Kage no Kenshi**

**GuiltyKingOumaShu**

**Zaqhirix Cheshire**

**Bd05**

**Mae Bleu**

**Carottal **

**GuiltyKingOumaShu **

**silver tears85**

**Fundindar**

**Only a Guest**

**DGMx 07 ghost lover**

**ploThief **

**Ninuhuju**

**furrballnerd**

**Moonsoul121**

**Gashadokuro Amanojaku**

**Clancy1018**

**MiniMonster98**


	17. The Ultimates

**The Ultimates**

He is a messiah

He is a tyrant

He is a murderer

The Demon Prince of Britannia

He is a warrior

He is a cheater

He is a murderer

The Black Twin Blades Swordsman

He is a human

He is a leader

He is a murderer

The Kind King Ouma Shu

I am a girl. I am a boy.

I am infinite.

I am a woman. I am a man.

Am I insane for loving them?

I'm not a pessimist

I'm not a sadist

I'm not a murderer

Why do I love them?

Just... just because

* * *

><p><strong>SPECIAL THANKS TO:<strong>

**Kage no Kenshi**

**GuiltyKingOumaShu**

**Zaqhirix Cheshire**

**Bd05**

**FelixLover**

**Mae Bleu**

**Carottal **

**GuiltyKingOumaShu**

**silver tears85**

**Fundindar**

**Only a Guest**

**DGMx 07 ghost lover**

**ploThief **

**Ninuhuju**

**furrballnerd**

**Moonsoul121**

**Gashadokuro Amanojaku**

**Clancy1018**

**MiniMonster98**


	18. Speak Now

**I AM BACK ONLY FOR THIS RARE OPPORTUNITY OF SEIZING A HOTSPOT THAT ACTUALLY LET'S ME ACCESS FANFICTION!**

**ENJOY THE CHAPTER I JUST POSTED!**

* * *

><p><strong>Don't say Yes<strong>

I am not the kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in being a hero of the day

And she is screaming my name and, yelling at her geeky friend to go get some help for me

This.. is… surely not what I thought it would be

But I.. lose myself in a daydream, where I say to myself

Don't say yes, run away now. I still have things to do and dreams to achieve

My friends are still waiting for me

I'm sorry that I have to leave you al-lone.

I have been waiting for you, ever since that fateful day, I've been watching over you

And I'm, happy to meet you again, like I promised all those years ago, that's what he said

He.. smiled.. at me and say, "Give me a moment,"

I… am sorry that I gotta leave… I promise I'll be back.

"I will be looking for you. Please wait just a little bit more longer.

Once I'm done in this world, I will go with you and stay forever more."

He.. smile..d and wave..d his.. hands.. at me… I... didn't answer his goodbye.

He said, "I'm proud of you. I will always wait for you 'til eter..ni..ty…"

I am not the kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion

But you, are not the kind of boy, who should be waiting in vain for me…

Don't say yes, Go. Up. Now. I still have things to do and dreams to achieve

My friends are still waiting for me

I'm sorry that I left without a goodbye.

* * *

><p><strong>Just a pathetic version of Taylor's album cover<strong>


End file.
